Dear Abby: My parents have divorced for almost 30 years. My father is still furious with my mother, and she is indifferent to him.
My son is about to graduate from high school, and both grandparents want to attend the ceremony and dinner later.
However, Dad refuses to be close, or line of vision, for my mother. He wants me to plan the day so that there is no possibility of crossing on paths: separate cars, separate routes, separate seats, separate photos, separate meals in different restaurants.
My brother did this when his son graduated, and it was a lot of work. It’s dumb. They are 75 years old and should be able to sit in line with each other without making a tantrum. I want to deliver tickets to the ceremony and make a reservation for dinner, and anyone who wants to come and be civilly is welcome.
My son is annoying with me because his grandfather is taking him to blame that he does not “make it” possible “that he is in graduation. However, my son is not willing to take care of the logistics strategy of how my parents can enter and leave the building without the possibility of interacting.
Is I reason that this is nonsense? So Horth is, Mom doesn’t care one form or another. – Daughter with a dilemma
Dear daughter: What his father refuses to recognize is that these special occasions are not about him and his resentment against his mother, presumable for having the audacity to leave him.
Because he is not willing to jump through the hoops to accommodate his childhood and demanding behavior, tell his father that if he cannot bury the ax on this special occasion and celebrate the achievement of his son, he will understand and omit it from the moment. The choice is yours: whether to celebrate your grandson’s milestone or continue feeding her resentment.
Dear Abby: After his usual work, my middle -aged son drives for a shared travel company until late at night. He works hard because the extra money to support his wife (who also works at home) and his three children.
I am not rich, but when I noticed that his car was a very old piece of garbage with 300,000 miles and leaked oil and water, I cooled $ 25,000 to buy a new one. I asked him not to tell anyone except his immediate family. Instead, he told his wife and children that he had bought the new car and did not mention the grandfather (I).
I expected a little good will from my grandson (who was excited with the car) and maybe just my daughter -in -law. Something like “Gee, thanks, grandfather, which was reflective and generous on you.” Was he wrong? – No thanks in California
Dear no thanks: According to many religions, the highest form of charity is what is anonymous. His gift to his son came from the heart, but it should not have been since his grandson has given it. His son is safe, thanks to his generosity, and that he itself should be his reward.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by his mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.